i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
