"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
