god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
