Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
