Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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