By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
