I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
