Where did you get a picture of my penis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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