TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
