i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
