My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
