the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My bed smells like the plague
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
