whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
