...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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