Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
