if only i could text you this smell
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
