Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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