Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
