i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
