i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
