It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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