Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
