either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
