why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
