I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
