You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
