I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it glows. i had to have it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Randomize
