well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
