Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
