Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
