ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
