we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
