Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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