I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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