We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
