Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
