I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
