Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
