I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
