Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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