Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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