I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
