So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
