Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
