Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
