So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
