id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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