I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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