Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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