Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
