when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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