So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
